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Bitch Alert

Highly entertaining Finnish band, they were 2004's main discovery for me. And here's an index page for them, because I soon accumulated several pages, reviewing their albums and their two 2004 appearances in Manchester. They were basically a three piece - Heinie on vocals and guitar, Kimmo on bass, and Maritta on drums. Though you could also see Marko or Robert or Jukka whoever (I lost track of the extra guitarists, they seemed to come and go like Spinal Tap's drummers) in live performance. Heinie was the charismatic leader, writing most of the songs, and delivering them with a distinctive and impressive voice ranging from sweet to aggressive, from lyrical to screeching.

But this is all in the past. A greatest hits compilation appeared in 2008, and its title had a tone of mournful finality. I guess nearly ten years is a good life for a band. If there really is to be no more, it's still worth seeking out their material whether on disk or online, if you like distinctive grungy hard rock. And I do mean distinctive. Bitch Alert are/were a one-off and if this is it, I'll miss them.

The Albums

Pink Bunnies Get Hit By Big TrucksPink Bunnies Get Hit By Big Trucks

...Selected Shouts of Bitch Alert is as you would expect a 'greatest hits' or 'best of' collection. It's sad to see, in a way, because there's a definite feeling of tying up loose ends here. There are no new songs. However, there's a second dvd disk which compiles all the videos and electronic press packs. And the first disk makes one very nostalgic, and reminds us that this band did make some very good music. Is 2008 really the end?


I Can Feel Your BonesI Can Feel Your Bones

Out in 2006, you had to do the internet thing, and cross your fingers about all that international postal excitement; but if you were lucky, new fourth album I Can Feel Your Bones turned up and transformed your life into something much more enjoyable. This was a very welcome package of goodies, some surprises, and some familiar hard rock. Not to mention a very pretty cd leaflet and a healthy dose of strange humour. ...read more


Kill Your DarlingsKill Your Darlings

2004's Kill Your Darlings I discovered by accident, and sent to a shop in Finland for. It seemed harder and less adventurous at first but when I listened to it properly I was knocked over and it's ended up my most played disk so far this year. It's an album of powerful kerrangg(sp?)-friendly classic rock; there are a couple of impressive moody ballads, some pieces of driving guitar attack, and some memorable grungy songs. Including an out and out swear-fest in the catchiest song, My Boy. ...read more



..rriot dates from 2002 but it was reissued in the UK in 2004 'as new', with the result that touring here that year they were playing what to them was old material. It's something of a best-of-so-far package. It's full of strong songs with great hooks and an underlying grungy feel. Lyrically there's loads of classic teen alienation, disaffection with male behaviour, and humour of the dry sardonic wit variety. Monday was released as a single later in the Summer. ...read more


Pay For OrgasmPay For Orgasm

First album Pay For Orgasm appeared in 2001. Three of the songs appear in new versions on ..rriot. It's better than you might expect, though it lacks the superior production standards of the later albums. The band's themes of teenage angst, homophobia, badness and generally being different are all well established here, and there are three or four standout tracks which make this cd a worthwhile purchase. ...read more


Live Reviews

20 September 2004 - Bar 38, Manchester, In The City/Finnish Showcase
6 July 2004 - Academy 3, Manchester, supporting 3 Colours Red



I'm afraid the band's website has disappeared, and they're no longer listed at their label Poko Records. So, apart from lingering traces at various Finnish music websites (eg. Noise.fi), there's only their MySpace page which is a little forlorn; no new blogs, a handful of farewell messages from fans, lots of promotion from other bands... but you can still go and listen to four of their best songs, including the sublime Latenight Lullaby, so if you've bothered to read this but have never heard their music, why not go now and hear what they could do?